Of Onions and Tears
by Niilan
Summary: Bakura doesn't believe Ryou when the hikari claims that the onions are what's making him cry. That is... not until he chops a few himself. Bakura-centric. Humor. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: Still don't own it! If I ever do, I'm going to redo the anime so that it does the manga justice. However, I don't own it, so...

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'_Hikari, are you crying?'_

Bakura corked an eyebrow as he entered the kitchen. He had heard his hikari's sniffles from the hallway, but felt no sadness through their link. Ryou stood at the counter, back to Bakura as he chopped a small cream-colored vegetable. He lifted his hand, and wiped his eyes with his arm.

'Hikari, what are you doing?'

Ryou looked over his shoulder, eyes red and tear streaks visible on his cheeks. The boy gave a weak smile.

"Hey, Bakura. Just choppin' onions." He grimaced, staring up at the ceiling as he frantically blinked away newly formed tears. "I hate it."

Bakura frowned. 'You're weak.'

Ryou gave him a quizzical glance, before pressing his eyes shut.

'You can't hold in your emotions, even when it's over something as trivial as cutting a vegetable you don't like!'

Ryou stared at him for a second (before he had to squeeze his eyes shut, again). Suddenly, he laughed, more tears spilling from the corners of his eyes.

Bakura stared. Had his hikari hit his head without Bakura somehow noticing? No, that was impossible. Something was seriously wrong, though. Ryou claimed to hate what he was doing, but had just begun laughing.

Ryou sniffed, covering his eyes with his arm. "Gomen nasai, Bakura."

'What is your problem?'

Ryou looked up, again, his eyes less swollen, and smiled. "I'm not crying because I'm mad, Bakura. It's the onions. They just make you cry."

Bakura raised an eyebrow incredulously. 'That is the lamest excuse I've ever heard.'

Ryou shook his head and resumed his chopping. "I'm serious. I don't know what it is… some sort of chemical, I guess… but the fumes make your eyes sting and water."

Bakura folded his arms. 'You seriously expect me to believe that?'

Ryou gave a frustrated sigh, blinking at the ceiling, again. "Ugh…" He gazed in Bakura's direction, the welling tears impairing his vision. "I'm not lying. It's common knowledge."

'Are you calling me stupid?'

"What? No!" Ryou's eyes doubled in size, but he immediately pressed them shut and shook his head with another groan. "It's just that… I-Ah!"

Ryou suddenly dropped the knife on the cutting board and bolted past Bakura. On his way out of the kitchen, though, his shoulder slammed into the doorpost, and he stumbled in a circle to regain his balance.

'Baka! Open your eyes!'

Ryou shook his head, eyes pressed stubbornly shut. "Can't. Eyes. Hurt. Be right back!"

He disappeared down the hall. Several more thuds reached Bakura's ears before he heard the sound of the running water from the bathroom, followed by multiple frustrated groans.

Bakura turned his attention to the cutting board. He walked over and gingerly picked up a half-chopped onion. He turned it over, eyeing it skeptically, then sniffed it. Well, it had a strong smell, but he didn't see any indication of its tear-inducing power.

_Stupid hikari, getting all worked up over a little vegetable._

Bakura nonchalantly took up the knife and continued his Ryou's work while he waited for the boy to finish flushing his eyes. He sliced the onion fluidly, and then began to chop the rings into small pieces.

Really? Did Ryou think he was so stupid to believe that this little white vegetable had power over one's emotions? Seriously, he wasn't that-

Bakura paused. His eyes tingled. He blinked several times, batting away the sensation. Shaking his head, he resumed his chopping.

A moment later, he stopped, again. The stinging was stronger. Bakura felt moisture gather in his eyes.

Impossible… Bakura looked down at the onion, turning the remaining chunk in his fingers. He stared… and immediately regretted. He quickly turned his head away, dropping the onion back on the cutting board, and rubbed his eyes.

Big mistake.

The stinging in his eyes increased tenfold. Bakura gave a short cry and stumbled back. He stared blearily through the tears overflowing from his eyes. Looking from his hands to the cream-colored vegetable, Bakura's mouth hung slightly ajar.

'The thing is possessed!'

He covered his eyes with his arm as he had seen Ryou do earlier, and vigorously shook his head with an exasperated groan. This was ridiculous. Ryou could stand it longer than he could. Ryou, the little weakling, could battle the bewitched vegetable longer than Bakura. Bakura! He couldn't believe this.

Moisture streamed from his eyes as Bakura rushed to the kitchen sink to wash his hands of the onion's juice before he was infected.

As the stinging in his eyes began to fade, Bakura sniffed back more tears. This was ridiculous!

A gasp came from the doorway, and Bakura stiffened. _Shoot._

"Bakura… are you crying?"

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Author's Notes: Heehee, just something I wrote on a whim after choppin' up onions for dinner. I wrote this surprisingly fast. Hope you all enjoyed the break from my usual Ryou-Bakura angst. One more thing! This fic marks a milestone. My 20th fic!!!!! Yippee! ^^ More shall come!

Translator's Notes: 'Gomen nasai' means 'I'm sorry', and 'baka' means 'idiot'.

Spare a moment to review my first Yu-gi-oh humor fic? ;)


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